Ok I think I got it

I stumbled upon this document when attempting to clean up an overburdened hard drive. It had been submitted to the original AMBS Blog (which was promptly cyberspaced, or black holed by a certain unnamed matador) during the week following our visit from Pastor Mike of Belarus. I was going to delete it because I didn’t think it timely anymore, but I read it first. I realized again, I don’t want to lose that fire, that first love I used to have and was stoked to the sky by that man. I’m going to print it out, keep it and read it once in awhile to stir up the feelings he gave me and remember to stay hot! God bless him.Maybe you could print it out to stoke a fire too.Gentleman, the Spaniard asked me to share. He thinks the blog is dead! It’s walking across the street without shoes! It’s Lucy in the sky with diamonds. (It’s an age thing.) I think not. It just needs to meet Pastor Mike! On Monday I sent an email to our brother about how I woke up thinking about Pastor Mike and even though for only seeing him two days I was sad because I wouldn’t see him today! I couldn’t even begin to express how moved I was by this man chosen by God. I wanted to thank him for his part in bringing Pastor Mike here (I’m sure you will too) and that now I truly knew what he was talking about when he spoke of him. I also wrote I didn’t think I would ever be the same because of meeting him. I still believe that! I didn’t know a word this man said (but for ameen and hallelooja) yet knew everything he meant. The handicap of a translator did not slow him down or ease the urgency of his message. When I say not the same I mean that Pastor Mike’s enthusiasm for sharing the love of Jesus was indescribable! Shocking! Humbling! Spine tingling! Raised the hair on the back of your neck exciting. Convicting! Comforting! And personally, shaming. He said, “What is in me has to come out”. As you well witnessed, it does and he lets it out with such transparency, so totally filled to overflowing and he didn’t care who was there or what he looked like, sounded like or what others might think or perceive him to be. Actually I’m sure he did care who was there as I’m also sure he wished it had been everyone. The whole world!It had to come out. I feel like that. But I let my feelings of inadequacy or unworthiness wall it in or get in the way too many times. I wouldn’t want people to think I’m stupid or silly. I’d be hanging out there, set up for rejection or marked as different. (you know, “one of them” that everyone’s so afraid of). This man sets himself aside completely to help God’s children. He’s suffered persecution for His and for his love. (sound familiar?) Meanwhile I worry about the observations and opinions of earthly people. My feelings. What a pity. How can I live this way? Why aren’t we all telling the news this way? We know God’s love, cry for it and cry because of it. I don’t understand how some people can have no outlet, no way to fully enjoy this love by expressing it. It must be shared Pastor Mike tells us. It has to come out! Like it’s a matter of life or death to him! Or to us. Isn’t it?I think if I didn’t at least have as an outlet the words and music of Godly people to sing (and hide behind in the safety of a church building?) I might explode too. But I’ve been feeling it’s not enough since Pastor Mike. Maybe I should stop for a while and listen and see where He leads. I mean really listen. Don’t get me wrong, I’m continually blessed by singing, but it’s just what I do to give thanks to Him for his presence in my life and for His glory. You try yelling as loud as you can “Jesus Loves Me” or “Go Tell it on the Mountain” repeatedly and see if His joy doesn’t come to you and maybe even splashes on someone else. It sets you free! I mean it. Try it. It really works.This is what Pastor Mike does, but he carries it out in the open amongst everyone and anyone. For all to see and feel. And he grieves for those who are blind and for those who can’t hear. It’s like a giant fountain on a windy day with this guy. Everyone within earshot gets wet. It’s what I need to do. God maybe won’t ever ask me to be a Pastor Mike, but I could sing on a street corner every once in awhile. Until He calls.You know, “Let It Out".YBIC